how to make a heart
by champion lyra
Summary: It had brought them together, and it was not about to let them be torn apart again. —BenRey, TROS Spoilers.


**Notes**

If you follow me for my other works, sorry the _link restart _update is late. It's almost finished, and the plan was to finish it this past week, but then I became so heartbroken I could no longer function because of Star Wars, lmao.

If you're new to my writing, sorry this is a bit all over the place. I've been trying to find a way to cope with my grief over TROS and my writing is suffering for it. Longer, better Reylo fics abound once I've had a few more days, but I needed to get _something _out or I was going to go crazy lol.

All that aside: thanks for taking a look, **TROS spoilers ahead**, and here's how the movie actually ended, obviously.

* * *

The kiss was nothing like she'd dreamed of.

Back when Rey had been nothing but a little, lost girl on Jakku, she had seen things no children should ever have to see. It was not a nice place to be; for anyone, but especially not for a child. A drive for physical affection, one of the last things she remembered about her parents, had quickly been replaced with repulsion for it after spending one too many hours at the junkyard.

After taking her breath in again, though, after knowing the man holding her was finally _Ben _\- the person she had connected to on Ahch-To, the person she was sure she loved - and that _he _had saved her, it was the only thing her brain could think of. The way Ben stared at her, like she was the only thing in the world he could see, it nearly stole her breath away all over again.

So Rey kissed him. She kissed him hard, holding his face, like she never wanted to let him go.

They both broke apart at the same time, looking at each other. _This _was what Rey had craved for so long. _This _was what she had dreamed of, had wanted so badly.

And then he started slipping.

Not physically, for a moment, he was still strong and steady in her arms. But through the Force, Rey could feel it. It was like Ben was a part of her - maybe he always had been - and it was as real as feeling her own life slip through her fingers moments earlier.

She screamed.

* * *

If someone were to ask her how she did it, Rey wouldn't be able to answer. The moment she felt Ben start to slip from her, her mind went completely blank. It was almost like the drowning sensation she'd experienced back on Ahch-To, in the dark pool that threatened to envelop her whole. It hadn't been that long ago, but she could remember clearly pulling herself up and gasping for air; recounting the whole experience to Ben and laying herself bare for him to see and judge.

He'd told her then she wasn't alone, and this time, Rey was determined to return the favor. Their story couldn't end like this. She wouldn't let it, not after everything they had gone through to _get _there.

Just like she'd felt him tugging on her, she tugged. _Hard_. Yanked, really, whatever thread connected them. Yanked and yanked until she could finally feel it pull tight. And once Rey did, with all the might she had, she pulled.

The Force, thankfully, responded in kind. It had brought them together, and it was not about to let them be torn apart again.

* * *

Neither Finn nor Poe said anything as they watched Rey land her ship, broken and bruised just like they all were. Most of the Resistance were too busy being glad to be _alive _to notice her, but they had been waiting, hoping beyond all hope, that she would come back to them.

When Rey pulled herself out, the two new Generals of the Resistance let out a collective sigh of relief. When she pulled out _Ben Solo_, neither of them were even sure how to begin. It didn't take someone Force sensitive to feel their confusion and hostility, but Rey was already on the attack before either of them could start.

"Don't say a word," she said, voice stern in a way that made all three men stand up a little straighter. Even Ben, who hadn't said anything since they arrived at the Resistance base, continued to keep his mouth shut. "I know what you're thinking, but-"

"Rey," Finn interrupted, despite Poe's insistent shaking of his head, "why is Kylo Ren here."

Rey turned, narrowing her eyes a fraction. _So long_, she had spent, getting him to drop that name. Getting him to accept himself as Ben. Part of her understood, of course, why Finn and Poe were standing defensively together, nervously glancing in between Ben and herself. He had been cruel - done horrible things, to both of them - but she wasn't stupid. She wouldn't lead a beast to them so willingly, not after everything, and she was honestly a bit hurt they thought she would.

Doing her best to put that hurt aside, however, she gave her friend a look. "His name is Ben Solo," she declared, grabbing his hand unexpectedly, "and he has come back to the light."

* * *

During their entire lengthy talk about how they should handle this situation - with Rey not willing to budge a single inch on letting him walk free with her - Ben had stayed silent. Rey had noticed, of course; noticed his emotions staying calm but almost in a downtrodden way, noticed how he refused to speak a word of his own fate, but decided that was something she would rather deal with when they were alone. In her heart, she knew that even if he had come back to the light, come back to _her_, opening up in front of others would never be that easy or simple. Not like it was between the two of them.

It felt like days until they were finally alone again, in the space that Rey had long since deemed hers on the Resistance base. Once they were both sitting down, for the first time since she'd awoken in Ben's arms, she felt like she could breathe properly again.

Rey watched as Ben took everything in. It was almost a little comical how out of place he seemed to look, sitting on the floor with her as he eyed everything in the space carefully, as if trying to commit it to memory.

"This doesn't feel real," Ben spoke up suddenly, snapping Rey out of her reverie. "I'm still trying to figure out if this is just a dream before I slip into the afterlife."

His words tore at her heart. After everything, it was hard to imagine he would accept that things had changed so quickly between them, and with everything. Most of the Resistance, Rey had noticed, had felt similar. Even she was having trouble believing that everything was really, truly over.

This, however, this thing between them… that was easier to understand, easier to accept. It had always been there, below the surface. Without thinking about it, her hand ended up grabbing a hold of his. "It's real," she promised, giving his hand a gentle squeeze once their fingers were laced together properly. "It's real."

Part of Rey wanted to cry at the notion. The fact that she was there, with Ben, holding his hand… this, she knew now, was what she had been missing. It was the feeling she'd craved her entire life.

All she had ever wanted was to not be alone, and he gave her a place to belong. She didn't have to sacrifice herself for it, she didn't have to fight for it anymore. Just like she'd discovered way back on Ahch-To, with Ben, it came naturally.

Slowly, almost as if he were scared he'd break her, Ben moved her into his chest, holding her tightly against him. "You saved me," Ben said, voice quiet. Somehow, though, they were the loudest noise in the room to Rey. "After everything, you saved me."

It didn't take longer than a second to understand what he meant. "You deserve kindness, Ben," she said, speaking the words into his chest. "You deserve to be happy. And I wanted to save you for myself, too." It was a selfish confession, but Rey knew he needed to hear it.

There were so many reasons, really, she had wanted to save him. She wished she could say with full honesty that it was a completely selfless act, but she couldn't. She loved him. Imagining having to live a life knowing he sacrificed himself for her… it would've been unacceptable. She could barely even think about it.

So quickly, he had become a part of her. Their souls were one, connected through the Force, and just like the Force had so quickly become something she couldn't live without, Ben had, too.

"Thank you," he said after a moment, words thick with unshed tears. Moving away from him just enough, Rey brought a hand up to touch his cheek. "I love you."

Those were words she had longed to hear for so long. The part of her that had almost cried earlier broke down into earnest tears, now, as she wrapped her arms around him once more. "I love you, too," she told him, holding him as close to her as possible.

They stayed like that for a long, long time. Just the two of them, away from the celebration the Resistance was still holding, away from any prying eyes or curious questions. The floor wasn't exactly the most comfortable place they'd ever sat on, but neither of them seemed to notice; tucked into each other like they were one entity.

And when the sun finally rose once more, with Ben still holding her tightly, Rey knew she had found the peace she had always wanted and dreamed of.

It wasn't a dream, anymore.

* * *

**Notes**

I honestly wish I had the time or the Star Wars know-how (I've been in the fandom since I was a kid, but have never been as well versed on the lore/ways of the Force as some others, lol) to rewrite this entire movi o. The more days pass, the angrier and more upset I become at everything that happened. Ben's death somehow only being my second biggest complaint; first being the figurative death of Rey as a character. I won't rant too much, but I'm sure the ST fandom will see me around a lot more in the near future, because I don't think I could ever get over this, lol. Thanks for reading and catch y'all later.


End file.
